I dreamt Michael Jackson dropped his pants in front of me and I had to ignore it.
remember that night jesus turned water into wine? DRUNKER.
So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
look what he's done to me, i actually want to be a stripper now.
The only word I understood in that whole setence was semen.
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
after i talked him through a bulleted list of why we couldn't have sex he just said "but it would be fun...."
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
It's like the god of all feather dusters, but for your vagina
It really is the softest mustache
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
So who has the penis shaped party tray? You or your mom?
Convinced if I was being murdered in my house no one would come and save me. If no one heard my 10000000 orgasms last night, there is no hope.
Randomize
