ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
It was kind of weird
What did your mom walk in?
She flung her tampon across the room.
he actually used the line "do you have a map, because i'm lost in your eyes" and i was to drunk to care
i found two dead squirrels on my front step this morning.. do you think they have something to do with my missing phone?
im sorry for trying to flush a roll of toilet paper down with my puke. probably not great for your toilet
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
I think my cats understand what porn is. And it's all my fault.
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
seeing two freshman taking a cab home at noon on a Monday makes me realize how much worse my life choices could have been
I think the 8 yr old is hitting on me and they just prayed for the salvation of third world countries
No more twerking this week. I think I dislocated a boob.
i swear i was one second from getting his number and then the shrooms kicked in
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
Randomize