Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
You wanna call me after your homoerotic shower?
She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
I woke up because I was nodding to the dream question of "would you like a sombrero?"
I wasn't sure if "you're even prettier in the dark" was a compliment. Hmm.
Just found my toeprints on the glass of his sunroof.
Apparently senior citizens don't like that position
My mom just blew pot smoke into my nose and called me a cat.
Also pregame at mine tomorrow?
I have no idea what's going on.... I just want to wear my horse sweatshirt and drink vodka.
The narcoleptic neighbor conked out while taking her dog out again. Drinking game based on what the dog does and how long she's out. You in?
Wanna smoke some ancient weed I just found in a box of cake mix?
At least he finally released me from his spooning oven of death...
my confident boosted when he told me that it was I who started making out with him. ME. NOT HIM.
I AM SHOCKED AND PROUD OF MYSELF
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
Randomize
