Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
the last 2 times weve had drunk sex ive had to get the morning after pill.. he's turning into a real expensive fuck buddy.
just saw someone climb out of the dumpster at cvs and start walking down the street like it was completely normal
I know you think I'm being paranoid, but can you please make sure Danny doesn't rub my wedding invitation on his balls?
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
I wish I was a power ranger. Also the universe is immense. Like it never ends. Never.
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
You know how there are wrinkles in your brain? What if they were filled with potato chips? That's kind of how my head feels now.
I literally have nothing else left to cut besides my drug budget; the dark days are among us
Fucked him in his sketchy van in the Applebee's parking lot. In other news, my dry spell is over.
Have you heard yourself have sex?
I'm not THAT loud...
My neighbors filed a noise complaint.
I was very impressed with his ability to carry on a conversation with his friends sitting in the front seat with his hand in my pants, getting a hand job, stoned, with a cigarette in his mouth. I think he's a keeper.
Hypothetically speaking, if a girl asks you to fuck her wearing only your hockey helmet, is that socially acceptable?
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
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