I just woke up and i'm wearing a cape and it says sup slut on my ass
Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
The blackout version of me left a ransom note to the sober self. Somebody needs to control that guy
I dont care how drunk you were. Making a bet with MY husband at MY wedding that you could seal the deal before he could is ALWAYS inappropriate!
Okay I take that back some girl just said pussy sweat. Get me outta here
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
A bee came out of the shoe box and stung her. Even the insect community doesn't want her in those hideous things.
As I was balls deep, she moaned "i can't wait to see what how hot our daughter will be". Instant de-boner
Stop your judging. I got free booze AND an oil change. You're the one whose always saying we're spending too much money.
"I'm not drinking any more tonight." As I dipped my quesadilla in a shot of tequila....then eats it
I had to ask him for a dick pic. Do you know how refreshing that was?
It's okay I didn't send any nudes tonight so we are safe *inserts photo of a baseball umpire doing the safe signal*
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
Sunday morning breakfast with the boyfriends family. I just puked in the stall at Cracker Barrell. Classy.
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