So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
Hold on. She's wrapped herself in toilet paper and is scaring the dog.
Too many margaritas?
A. What the fuck are period panties? B. Don't ever wear them around me... or bears.
We just got really drunk and bought toilet paper. Successful Monday.
I'm pretty sure this isn't my phone, but I do like these nude pics
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
Disregard that. She just puked into her boot and started screaming.
I woke up to him peeling the skin on my stomach from my sunburn. If he wasn't so good in bed I'd be a little freaked out.
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
You passed out with your mouth on the faucet, straddling the keg, with your arms wrapped around it
I am slightly proud of the fact his mom turns on the dryer located behind the spare bedroom EVERY time we visit!
I spent the entire party sexting people's significant others for them because they were too drunk to do it themselves. I did quite well too. I should start a business
I had a dream that I got you so wet that you flooded my apartment
I'm eating pizza in the bathtub
Sex. Target parking lot. I really am the mayor.
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