Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
he just stuck his car key in my belly button, made car starting noises and pretended like i was revving my engine?
We're so high we're finding things in the room to build a submarine with. So far we have two cardboard boxes, a piece of wood, puffy paint, and an empty bottle to use as a periscope.
Um he just came into the kitchen naked to get her purse or something?
Yeah, I think they knew. I smelled like that telltale combination of strippers and Easter.
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
I swear to god if he wasnt on the fourth floor balcony and I wasn't to drunk to climb I would kill him
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
Did you see the video of me eating a marshmellow on fire?
I have family pictures in an hour and a half and I'm 9 beers deep. This is how I get written out of my grandparents will...
I knew deleting his texts was a bad idea and I was right. I just used the last time we talked to help me figure out when I had my last period
what do you mean i can't make cookies with a blow dryer? challenge accepted.
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?
Randomize
