He's marrying her, which means that she is his most important person in the world, so you gotta deal with it...okay?
I just woke up to a guy kissing me goodbye and leaving for class. I don't know where I am, don't have any clothes on, my underwear are gone, and the shoes I found with my dress aren't mine. He just walked in and gave me my phone. I was on my period. Come get me I will walk to the nearest intersection and wait.
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
things I have learned from cosmo today- 40% of guys are uncircumsized, you can have a beer facial, and i really need to get tested for std's
When sleeping with someone new: should you hide the magnum condoms, or let him know what he has to live up to?
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
in the future when you find clothing in your street, just assume it's mine.
THIS IS NOT A DECISION I MADE AT ONE IN THE MORNING IM JUST GETTING AROUND TO TELLING YOU ABOUT IT NOW
Blood work from physical was all good, apparently heavy alcohol use agrees with me
I plan on blacking out and milking a cow
Awkward, walking to my bootycall's hotel room and run into my dad leaving his. Just nodded to each other and went on our ways
Only a true best friend would remind you to make sure your cucumber dildo is organic
I'm going to need a penis the size of a bat
I'm talking to this guy I met online about French toast. I am the oddest fucking combination of hungry and horny. Wtf brain.
There's wax on my nightstand, my sheets look like Christmas, and my vagina feels like it got into a fight. All signs of a good night
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