It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
i study at coffee shops because all these damn artsy people motivate me to work towards a real job.
woke up in a garbage bag. literally. it was used as a sleeping bag.
Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
I get way too drunk to be trusted with family heirlooms
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
she sent me pictures of 3 different vaginas and if I could pick which one was hers i could sleep with her.
I was always good at matching as a child.
I deleted his number so I had to go into my old voicemails which are saved through my gmail and search his name... Never underestimate the resourcefulness of a drunk girl on a mission for dick
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
Drunk texting is the poetry of my life
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
i almost threw up on his dick. its like icarus, flew too close to the sun. except the sun is his dick and my throat was icarus
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
Randomize
