wanna go halves on a baby?
She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
i have absolutely no control over my now miserable and whore-ish lifestyle.
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
Just so you know, coffee creamer+water does not = milk.
A relator touring our house this week saw the picture in our bathroom of steven passed out, yellow faced, with BALLS on his forehead, and had to ask "if that kid was alive or dead".
My vagina has become a graveyard for my brother's friendships...
I woke up to the sound of a beer can being opened. I love him already
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
OK. i'm going to add "riddle me this, brodawg" to the list of things i'm never gonna say to my boss again while i'm high.
He was just lying in his underwear like a present. I had to unwrap it.
Idk I wanna make it till midnight but I also want tequila
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
Just don't do anything stupid
i did a stupid sorry
Randomize
