your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
Buhtt sex?
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
My google history shows every combination of "red lobster cheesy biscuits" possible.
You just seemed really offended whenever my cup was empty.
Life is my bitch right now. The bouncers tried to carry me out of the club, but everyone thought I was crowd surfing so everyone carried me BACK IN. Winning as fuck.
The only things in my fridge are almond milk, Smirnoff Ice and chicken noodle soup. I'd say I've done mama proud.
Chicks before dicks must only mean American dicks
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
Do NOT approach him. He has sex with everything. LITERALLY everything, and I DO mean everything. He's so horny we once caught him with his dick in a pumpkin. A legitimate honest to God pumpkin that he bored a hole in
Homeboy just asked me to strip for him. He should not be this horny and allowed to be in Vegas with his kid.
I taught three men with PhDs how to make a gravity bong last night. I love academia.
Breakfast sounds amazing but can we do IHOP instead? I have to pick up a Plan B pill and there’s a CVS next to it
Randomize
