you're like a bully in the Christmas story
I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
Had a student tell me he misses the old Four Loko. He's in 7th grade. No one is allowed to claim I started drinking too young ever again.
Bering your kids um. Abiout tol. Throw up
What's the most polite way to say "Congrats on losing weight, but no one is happy your boobs got smaller."
The sex was so good I went temporarily numb. Slightly embarrassing when she pointed out I was kissing my own arm.
well hes been the bathroom for like 15 mins so he either feels comfortable enough to puke/ shit in my apartment or he escaped out the window
Called my ex last night, told her I wanted to bang like we use too, her fiance was in the car, I was on speaker phone. NO MORE TEQUILA!
Did she say Ok?
I got kicked out of the bar for suggesting that the bartender drop her tits into my Redbull instead of the usual liquor
You called me at 3 am laughing like an idiot. Apparently you consider breaking out of the hospital to be a lifetime achievement.
I woke up and there was a mans ass as my screensaver...
I know this is super early in advance but can I borrow your horse mask on 4/20
I was eating leftover taco bell in bed at 3 in the afternoon. I can't throw any stones
Found a trail of Taco Bell hot sauce packets through the garage to our back door and cheese in my bra. I'll say it was a successful Sunday Funday.
Randomize
