i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
Im eating ham and mustard naked, watching south park, but its totally cool cuz the paper plate is covering my nuts
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
He just sent me a picture of me icing a cake with a butcher knife topless.
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
Subtly mention that I'm not a lesbian. I would only go for rebecca's nipples because they're pierced and I like shiny things.
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
I think god invented us with two hands so we can grab an ass and spank it at the same time.
He hasn't texted me back since last week when we sexted. I think telling him I wanted to choke him with chains was a bit much for our first time.
You have ruined sex with him for me. Now all I think is "boy scout" and I want to go home
We hooked up with 2 friends last night as always and she stole their fucking cocaine and I just had to drive to their house and make her give it back to him hahshshahahah only me
Today is my 3 year wedding anniversary...and I've seen three different dicks.
My cat took a shit on the guy who passed out in the bathtub
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
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