You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
they ran out of ice so they are using frozen shrimp in their drinks
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
He snuck out of bed at 9 am and came back with pizza and a bottle of wine. I think I'm in love!
The last thing I remember is trying to split my bridesmaid dress down the back like the incredible hulk.
and you succeeded.
she tried strangling devon with the garden hose. pretty sure they're broken up
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
I ran into a hotel and told the doorman he was doing a great job. That was before you cried on my jacket.
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
Dude, you vomitted into a trashcan wearing your bear hands and high heels. Your drug dealer even said that was rough.
and everyone will high five me and girls will approach me offering blowjobs
Goddamn it Peter ur the only person i know who can make going down on a girl a competition.
She won. Twice.
Who put the fucking tampon in my Mike's hard lemonade?
I'm sitting in the car vaping at an elementary school to try and deal with the stress of existing. About how i thought being 30 would go for me tbh
Randomize
