After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
She started to tell me how she goes to a shrink, so I started thinking how to sneak out of her place, then she said part of it was for her sex addiction, long story short she's got her clit peirced n I just got laid
I just sat in the Taco Bell drive-thru waiting for a trash can to take my order. Yes, that high.
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
hey as creepy as this sounds i still have your eyelashes on my desk
This guy kept running around with a blender giving people shots of everclear and vodka. Best. Toga. Party. Ever.
I had some like war flashbacks of giving someone a handjob and i was trying to figure out who it was.
You tried to put a condom on my dog, then he ate it.
Btw before you ask, the dr said there's no way shoving his dick that far down my throat is why i got laryngitis
All I can think of is a mama duck followed by her baby ducks, in brightly colored track shoes.
How high are you?
She left a blunt and poutine on my nightstand with a note saying "went to the gym. be ready for round three when I get back" I love Canadian chicks
I think I'm at a stage of my life where I subconsciously purposefully fuck everything up just to see if I can find a way out of it.
He literally just patted me on the vagina and said goodnight to it.
At some point the phrase "I've hit rock bottom" stopped having a meaning and became my general state of life
Parade of Dicks...that's what I'm calling 2017
Randomize
