You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
if there werent so many compromising pictures of me in the hands of so many liberal friends, id consider going into politics
Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
I'm drinking rum and coke straight from the 2 liter bottle.
What I thought it would be sexy pouring melted chocolate down here chest, ended up in second degree burns. Hot food and sex do not mix.
I just got a high school volleyball teams practice cancelled because I slept with the head coach through their practice time.
I apologize in advance for attempting to drunkenly hookup with your sister
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
Let's enter the circle of trust. Are we there yet? Ok. If I somehow hypothetically slept with Amandas ex husband...on a scale of one to ten...how bad is that?
A whole bunch of large men eating Doritos just knocked on my door and asked if they could take out my trash?
I said you have to fuck the german guy and take one for the team...it's a once in a lifetime opportunity you know.
you were so high you just watched the elf.... its spring
What! I said that you would fall in love? See I know better. Dark liquor makes me think everything is a dream. I barely remember saying that
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