Whenever someone from high school gets pregnant or has a pregnancy scare my self esteem grows a good 5 points
terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
When she was giving me head last night it felt like there was a NASCAR pit crew working on my dick.
Well they kicked us out after we started heckling the acrobats
Sometimes I send them texts like "I want to make you cry and lick up your tears" just to fuck with them. And THAT is how you get rid of a Stage 5 clinger.
I was talking to a guy at my work, and mid-sentence he started vomiting violently for about five minutes, then he said, " great dope" and carried on like nothing had happened.
A man pulled out his penis last night and when I said I wouldn't touch it, he said, "that's fine it just needs to breathe".
You can do it. What doesn't kill us just drives us to drink
I walked out of the bedroom naked holding a used condom only to be greeted by half of my family. Happy birthday mom
I don't know which is worse, the fact that he can say will you fuck me in so many languages or that I'm turned on because of that
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
I just said "you do you" to my penis.
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
So a bottle of lube exploded all over my softball bag and Nike shirt.
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