So she said grabbing my cock was like holding a giant crayola from pre-school.
that was the beginning of the end.
Friend I haven't seen in almost a year just IMed me to let me know that my mom stuck her boob out the window on the freeway at her.
Her mom responded by mooning my mother. I really don't know what's worse.
Just found the bucket list I wrote when I was high...somehow I dont think "jello swimming pool" is gonna happen.
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
You spilled spaghetti on the floor, and kept telling the noodles to "settle down" as you tried to clean it up
Remind me tomorrow to take that ball-gag out of my purse.
He's got a southern drawl and a lisp. I'm getting mindfucked right now.
You're telling me you've never sent a picture of your cock to a girl and then were all like "Oops, sorry, wrong person! By the way...You like?"
Just watched my roommate stuff a sandwich in his pocket because we're out of paper plates.
Come get your boy. He's cuddling with a bag of rice on the floor.
Carson when you get home I want you to go downstairs and go into each bedroom and pick up the underwear and either throw it out or give it back to the people who own them. Look all over the room. Thank, Love Mom
I'm treating this like a real date. My boobs aren't even out.
I'm so proud, I have tears
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
I will never look at a penis the same again. After that I will appreciate them so much more than I do. Makes me wanna kiss yours just for being pretty
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