in jail i did the beyonce ass shake for the police officers & called Sally from my collect phone in my cell & started singing "im in JAAAIL IM IN JAAAIL",
He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
My mom asked what the mark on my neck was - I told her I burned it with a straightener.
She believed that the monsterous hickey on your neck was a burn?
well, not really. but then i reminded her that my sister has yet to take that pregnancy test and she conviniently forgot about my hickey
If there was a game called "keeping your legs shut," I would lose every time.
No it's cool, He's been doing my English papers in exchange for lap dances since the eleventh grade. We're very professional.
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
We got stuck in traffic in the tunnel while we were smoking weed. We were afraid to air out the car.
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
I no longer have the means to support both a women and an alcohol addiction
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
My professor just said irregardless, get me out of here
I guess he's ir-illiterate
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
Randomize
