As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
Apparently the guard had to repeat "you're too drunk to get in" three times before I understood. I guess he was right.
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
I'm drinking bacardi out of her mom's eco-green starbucks mug and chasing it with her sister's "for track only" vitamin water. Hello suburbia
I woke up to him climbing naked through my bedroom window with a bottle of jd in his hand. Of course I had sex with him.
I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
There are 18k people at the game and I'm next to the one guy who pulls his underwear down to his ankles to piss.
I've had to much cheese to give a fuck about anything. im tired.
how the hell were we supposed to out run the cops in a bus?
I'd like to thank you for ensuring I didn't die. Id also like to show you the most impressive bruise you will perhaps ever see
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
The end of the friendship was inevitable. I hooked up with her cousin and forgot to mention it to her
Why yes, I DID want cramps for Christmas, how did you know God?
the voting booth dude cock blocked me or she woulda totally blown me in the voting booth.
Randomize
