Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
is it bad if my mug shot looks better than my profile picture?
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.
Like I couldn't describe it to you but if they did a lineup of penises i'd be able to pick it out.
Just had to masturbate in the bathroom because mom changed my room into a "knitting" room. I hate coming home.
Some days you just pee in a stairwell and go home.
I'm washing down the sadness with shots of vodka.
Your ability to whip out your dick and take a pic anytime I text you is startling.
Last night someone asked you what your favorite color was and you said "bagel."
I'm so sexually frustrated I feel like I'm going to kill my turtle
You pretended to be Borat in that weird slingshot bathing suit and then proceeded to send another dick pic/nude selfie and said you weren't naked because you were wearing a hat.
I just watched videos of people getting puppies and crying, I cried too. Definitely still drunk
you know you should be lucky to find the case to my dildo....that means no more random guys at the house!
There. There is gum on my butt cheek IT IS NOT MINE
Randomize