we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
dude if i could bring that prime piece of meat home, id be the luckiest average-looking girl who ever lived
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
im not sure. I kicked him in the ear last night trying to kick a plastic cup off his head to prove I can kick higher than anyone.
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
You just handed me your ATM card and wrote your PIN number on a dollar bill and said "for bail money."
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
You crossed every boundary on the boundary spectrum last night. You're like the illegal immigrant of drunk actions. No more holiday drinking for you.
I always hoped that one day I'd have a sex position named in my honor.
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
I had to help him get his zipper down in front of his dad so he could pee in the bushes. That Is what moonshine does to you.
he told me "apparently my gag reflex doesn't work so if you magically grew a penis I would deep throat you"
Honestly I'm not even that excited to see my boyfriend. I'm more excited to see his penis. His penis inside of me.
Just because the energy drink is shaped like a grenade doesnt make it cool to throw it and yell "BOOM" and break my flatscreen, asshole
I can't hang out tomorrow. A boy wants to feed me ice cream and touch my boobs. Priorities.
Randomize
