Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
My favorite part was when he stopped, looked up in the middle of performing oral sex and asked, "you did know it was Arbor Day, right?"
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
I just drank til 6am then boned a 32 yr old that looks exactly like ET. Oh god.
He's 11. You dont draw dicks on 11 year olds, i dont care if he ate your lasagna
We defiantly won best dressed in the ER tonight
Please don't smoke the bong in the bathroom while you shit. It is not a shitting bong.
But once you explained how to fill cupcakes with semen I realize you were harmless and right on my level.
Also, my aunt grabbed my phone and downloaded the scriptures. Apparently I need Jesus.
You called me your momma bear, and then demanded more vodka
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
He wanted to save my dignity, I just wanted beads and jäger
Randomize
