im so horny i just used my electric toothbrush to masturbate. god help me
It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
I feel like royalty, that girl from last night had a vajazzled vag. Bucket list complete.
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
4 random people called me telling me they found him sleeping in the fetal postion on a driveway 45 minutes after we lost him
Sprained my ankle at sky zone REST ICE COMPRESSION ELEVATION AND SHOTS it'll all feel better soon
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
I've heard awesome things about their margaritas. I also may buy a mustache from party city. Would you do me with a mustache on??! Hahahaha. But, really.
After the 3rd shot, she was running around singing, "Twinkle Twinkle Big Ol' Dick, on your happy place I'll sit" to your brother.
Put that bitch's torch out. She's been voted off.
This is like the best thing that's ever happened to us. We're getting paid to sit around get high and eat. There is a Jesus
Did you cry?
I don't think so. I definitely lost my cool though
Yeah i think jesus would lose his cool in that situation
It's like he drunk calls 6 times for me to come over, but can't say hello at lunch.
When you're really drunk, Japanese toilets just have an unnecessary amount of buttons.
Fireball goes down like mother's milk. Btw your housemate is naked
Randomize
