She is totes cute on her twitter. Which totally sounds like a euphemism for coot.
My little sister just found a condom in her bag i borrowed... Happy fourteenth birthday.
i'm not sure what happened. i know i woke up on the floor of his bathroom, then had morning sex with him. dont remember getting to his apt. dont remember much.
morning sex?... maybe not a total mistake then? he seems like a normal person, so rare at BU
oh no, he's far from normal. i know his high school girlfriend. she's CRAZY. and he definitely deals prescription drugs. also. he had sex with me even though i slept on his bathroom floor.
i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids
He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
You kept saying thank you to the automatic toilet as it flushed your puke.
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
I'm taking it from the chunk of pizza I just pulled out my hair that we ate pizza last night?
Time for jim to play the "dont seriously consider pooping in the trash" game
I say go for the trifecta and maybe you'll get a medal or something. Or a baby. That's like the same thing right?
She dressed up in a sexy maid outfit for me, but she got mad when I asked her to actually do some cleaning.
I don't think it's food poisoning, I think it's cause you cooked it over burning styrofoam
I'm not even 100% sure what it is, but if it involves Thor and Doritos, I'm in
why is there a porcupine in the kitchen
In celebration of finishing my homework, lets drink tea w/ vodka
Randomize
