Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
I am so stoned and my professor is handing out candy. I love Halloween.
I just remembered we said the Lord's Prayer before we went out last night.
he was so drunk he doesn't remember anything. I have to break up with him all over again
He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
Finally considering to keep my landing strip before I have sex.. I feel like It makes me look mature.
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
Lol I screamed "GOT AN ORDER OF VERSACE TACOS UP" and the whole kitchen was just like who the fuck is this kid
Just bought a dildo. Happy first time single in four years Valentine's Day to me
The only time we had a decent conversation was when he was on acid, and, like, that's not a great start to a relationship.
NO HE PUT HIS HAND IN HIS PANTS BEFORE HE TOUCHED THE BONG.
ILLEGAL
When I finally came to, I was in the DJ booth wearing his headphones while he was spinning. That's all I got.
He said watch this and then went and tripped into a group of 40 year old women, now he's leaving the club with them.
Randomize
