he had a TATTOO on his FACE. a tattoo on your face basically says "i've gone as far in society as i'd like to."
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
That bitch ruined vodka saturday
The barista asked if I wanted my drink wet or dry, but all that came to mind was farts. You have ruined me.
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
You know what, I don't care that I got too drunk and didn't make it into the boat party. If I had, I probably wouldn't have peed on you later while we soundly slept. I feel you need that in a best friendship.
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
I just want to let you know that when you try and lie about the "solid 10" you brought home last night, I've got a picture of her and about 10 reasons you should have left her at the bar starting with those martin scorsese eyebrows.
If my plane goes down do me a favor. Break into my house and get the batman costume and swing out of my bedroom.
She flashed us last time and pissed all over the floor this time. I'm scared to invite her back.
Not sure if I should ask if I can have my underwear back or just avoid that all together.
I'm so drunk I forgot what to do to go pee.
I'm going to be there later than expected. There was a yo-yo incident...
Its like he got lessons from Jesus on how to use his tongue. And his dick.
I don't feel like that was meant as a compliment, but really still feels like one
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