is wine microwaveable?
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
So he told me he wanted to fertilize my caviar. Im avoiding all foreign exchange students from now on.
Why am I a bad person? You were the one trying to get people to eat tape.
i just wasnt prepared to have the baby of one of two french firemen. threesomes are too confusing.
I was pretending that it wasn't happening. Until we had to roll down the windows as she was vomiting apologies into a Target bag.
Drinking down Plan B with a 5 hour energy. Winding down welcome week in style.
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
Technically he's married but he says it's "not like that" even tho his wife lives with him. Not sure if I believe him but I'm sleeping with him anyway.
I just sneezed and it made my entire body ache. Hungover is an understatement
There was a trampoline and tequila. It was glorious.
I'm pretty sure I went in the girls bathroom and vomited everywhere then looked for a urinal for like 20 minutes
Day one of being single and I've came three times. I can get used to this.
Will u make me a "6 month anniversary of being single" cake??? I wanna celebrate
If you ever tell anyone I offered you boob squeezes for cheetos, I'll kill you
Randomize
