Haha she couldn't find her dress in the morning. So she left it. How do the hell do I discreetly return that to her at work. More importantly, how did she discreetly do the walk of shame??
Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
This concert is like a reunion of all my bad sex.
Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
The a/c is broken so they cut a softball size whole in the freezer door. Goodbye deposit.
I just had a vision of confetti exploding out of someone's vagina to the sound of air horns... I think that would be welcoming.
I like the way you think.
I love you. Happy valentines. Satin Patricks dayyyyyyyyyy. Alreadythrew up. Geeeeerait.
Ive never seen him vulnerable before. He just had surgery and looked so cute on his crutches. like a little baby bird with a broken wing. that i wanted to nurse back to health. with my vagina
You're obviously not trying hard enough. GET LAID. Kittens die for less.
Touche salesman.
So nowhere in the dress code does it forbid me from showing up to City Hall in a gorilla suit to meet the mayor.
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
I fucked my ex boyfriend to get shrooms for you guys
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
Well you should have thought of that before you were reckless with your butt
i just went to hell in the tanning bed. i think god is giving me a preview of what is in store if i keep getting drunk everyday.
Randomize
