I just called a phone sex line and you know what I did? I sat there and cried
we convinced you the moon was a planet...again
Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
Right, because I totally see myself driving all the way down there to fuck his world famous penis.
I am expending an amazing amount of energy to not throw up right now
I think I need to donate blood to see if I have Hepatitis. Again.
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
I had to run home with my hands covering my tits this morning. How does this keep happening?
You shouted, "LOOK I'M HAWKEYE," and beaned mike with a dildo from across the room.
Whatever you have to do, STALL THEM. Your toothbrush is in the kitchen, my pants are on the balcony, and I don't have eyebrows.
I feel awkward having to tell people “sorry you can’t finger me because I will get a UTI and I don’t have health insurance”
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
I might be getting fired on this week so the only option i see for tonight is to get smashed and have an orgy. actually this idea might explain why i'm not an ideal employee.
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