An ex-gang member just asked me out on a date via note. And spelled dinner wrong. Win?
I'm naming my child veloci raptor. And you can be a part of its life if you want. But that's its name. Cause i have the vagina.
Hows that studying goin for you?
I'm in my bathtub in a robe and jeans smoking a bowl and my hair is covered in olive oil
One day her vagina is just going to shrivel up and seal itself with it's self preservation mechanism
Look,the guy had sex w/a Canadian prison guard on the deck of a cruise ship,he could blow any second.
Id prob hit it, but i instagram edited her picture to make her look better. Ha. She should fuck me just for that.
I DMed the cop that arrested me to come unlock my keys out if my car today
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
Drove by a guy getting road head, midday on O Street. That could be us, but you won't let me in your pants when you drive.
You told us that you were going to become a 'new man' and threw your tv set out of a window.
Every time you talk about your facial hair I immedately get horny
Three Decembers later, I'm looking at this fuckin Santa lingerie I bought and just realized my stocking never got stuffed....
Never in my life have I been so excited to nap as I am right now.
It just makes sense. It's like I end a relationship, and wash myself of sin... with tequila.
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
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