i just pissed myself at work. maybe they'll buy the old coffee spill trick
Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
Had sex on a washing machine in a pool of beer. Can you say success.
i was just offered a 40 day sex challenge. prepare for the best 40 days of your life.
oh. my. god. yes.
I was still in a towel. We hadn't even started drinking yet and the champagne bottle dropped and exploded literally up into my vagina.
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
You never know how much you love your bed until you sleep with 4 other people in your car.
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
The whole time we were hanging out my vagina was yelling at me like its a real live penis that wants to have sex with us what are you doing
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
My neighbor came out@4am in a pink nite gown n clotheslined a punk on a mo-ped w/her mop handle, then just walked back in her house like she just checked the mail. MILF 1 PUNK 0
Apparently "Welcome to the Sin Cave" is not how I'm supposed to answer the door
I'm killing it this week, I've peed my pants and put my vibrator into the washing machine.
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