clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
I really liked your hair last night but that style makes it really hard to hold it while you puke
I am pretty sure he just licked my hand while trying to sing goo goo dolls iris to me. Get me out of this state.
Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
the clerk said it was the first time she had ever seen someone walk in the next day to return the tux still wearing the tux
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
you can't tell me it's over and send me pics of you and your cat?
I may not have eyeballs after all the drunk naked people having sex outside.
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
I couldn't think of the word "bath" so instead I told him I was marinating in soapy water
Seriously bro? Indoor roman candle wars? I guess I'll never see that fucking security deposit again
She was on top, but I lost her at "alright, you look like predator."
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
I remember being like "I can't hold both of you guy's hair back!" so I put headbands on each of you
In all the years we have had drunk sex, have we ever done it in a bed?
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