need another drink. this is the easiest way
How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
You threw up in a Dixie cup last night. Oddly, you just gained major points in my book for that.
i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
I don't know the quality of the hand jobs you've received in the past but it CLEARLY was not one from me
So I just saw Jonah Hill at LAX and decided my fat fetish is back
You should go to counseling for that
Will you please bring me a line of coke at work without asking questions?
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
She's riding a bike down the street and drinking brown liquor. A pt cruiser is honking at her and she's like I HEAR YOU!!
He wins the giant teddy bear for getting the neuva ring on the dick
We were fucking in the boat on the lake when another boat saw us and honked their appreciation.
Life lesson... stop having side pieces that know each other...ffs.
Despite breaking my phone, thumb, and my dignity, last night was pretty good.
I was like ahh were on two different pages, I know there's rumors of me moving to boston but I can't and I'm not adding long distance to the relationship I have with my 31 year old recently divorced ex boss
Randomize
