DAMN! I hate it when i drunkenly erase all my "sent message" and wake up in the morning and my inbox is full of "WTF?" and "Huh?" messages.
No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
I was in a threesome last night that turned into a violent domestic dispute with damage to a hotel. Wish you were there!
i just got on a party bus. i think i left my belly button at the bar.
im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
I was thinking about getting her an edible arrangement for an engagement gift. You want in?
I'm buying her a drink and not telling her to dump his ass. that's my gift.
The trees feel like magic. Come fly to taco bell with me.
The condom broke. Its OK tho, turns out I was just humping her thigh for 20 minutes. Jager dude, Jager.
We don't really communicate like that.
Communicate like what?
Communicate like people who want to see each other when their genitals are inside their pants.
Oh boy I hope we come out of this alive. And with clean prison records
Omg drank too much. Threw up in my Santa hat on the train and then of course it leaked all over me.
Randomize
