I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
I'm at Lowes and I'm constantly looking for things to vomit in, just in case
Just downloaded the entire Justin Bieber album sober.. I think you know how I'm doing.
boy from dating site added me on facebook. i don't know if i'm ready for him to see what a drunk i am.
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
The girl with a dislocated arm just did an assisted keg stand. You will never have an excuse again.
he told me not to treat him like a child and then started peeing off the trampoline
I'd be a gr8 surrogate. I'm gonna love your fetus
We were having sex and his high flatmates stood outside his room playing the guitar and singing Somebody to Love by Justin Beiber. Weirdest night ever.
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
As a Chick-Fil-A employee, I think you'd appreciate the visual of me almost accidentally pulling out my wallet with a thong hooked on it as I payed for my waffle fries just now.
I went from looking for a bong to home decor in a 10 minute span. This is what being an adult is all about!
How many times have we said we'd stop taking Jell-O shots with strangers?
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
you know your booty call is really trying when he offers to pay the toll for the bridge you have to cross to get to his house
Randomize
