So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
I woke up at 4am on the couch with half my clothes on. And by half my clothes I mean my earrings.
this morning i woke up under the kitchen table. i went to my room and there was an inflatable whale in my bed with a banana duct taped to where its penis should be. there were trails of cheez-its around my apartment and i found $67 in the crotch of my underwear. im guessing i had a very happy birthday.
my mom just poured a water bottle of wine to take my dog on a walk...
just spent $80 on an im sorry breakfast from mcdonalds for everyone sleeping in my apartment for being a drunkass and locking everyone out of the apartment at 2am.
At the bar. Madeline and I totally brought our own pitcher from home because they always run out. Hello alcoholism.
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
You can't break up with me and ask me for a handjob on the same day. At least not in that order.
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
So im waiting for someone at grand central and i look up AND THE ENTIRE BALCONY IS FILLED WITH BOY SCOUTS I AM TERRIFIED
Just realized I chose a bacon cheeseburger over sex last night
I shouldn't have that kind of responsibility when the prospect of being high is readily available. All I could do was hula hoop and smoke cigarettes last night. My remembrance of anything important was out the window.
He's not very smart so he didn't know I was yelling at him with monologues from Scandal.
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
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