No seriously, I have to sell the house because my wife found out I'm gay.
someone, somewhere in austin has to have a muppet
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
4 girls bringing me taco bell. this is what dreams are made of.
I have to bobbypin his pubes for us to have sex. The other day he wanted me to braid them.
I always congratulate people on their vaginal emancipation.
The things i do for you...I put all those condoms on a bed, complete with girl, and you sleep in the bathroom
This hurricane better not stop me from sitting on the stoop thurs & enjoying all the slutty costume walkofshamers
When theres a zombie apocalypse, i will be the only fat survivor. I ate chef boyardi ravioli with part of a pen for a fork
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
I got a charlie horse in my ass while masturbating. We are never been going to that boot camp again.
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
God gave you your own nipples for a reason.
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