some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
remind me to tell you what i found stuck to me this morning
There are only families here. I'm at the bar alone double fisting drinks. You cannot get any more approachable than I am now.
Ahhh sometimes you just need a thermos of whiskey in the library
I feel like death gave me a hand job
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
I bought an american flag today and by god im gonna fuck someone on it
God dammit not the cupcake channel. Not when I'm high.
You walked in wearing nothing but a beekeeper mask
I can't remember if I puked before or after the shots of absinthe. Or why I thought shots of absinthe was a good idea.
I found an industrial strength sharpie in the drawer so I started writing BONER JAM 2014 on everyone's foreheads so they kicked me out
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
Update: the condoms are expired and Canadians are NOT to be trusted!
it's not rock bottom until you fall down an escalator on the way home from a hookup and have to have you dad come pick your drunkass up at 3am. Adulthood.
Randomize
