Please don't tell anyone I peed on your wall.
He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
i found a twelve pack under my bed. and a six pack in my closet. I'm like a fucking alcoholic squirrel.
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
We're listening to space jam. This can only be a good omen.
I'm just gonna use that pot butter as dip for chips. That's fat, American AND stoner!
Just ushered a raccoon across the street so yeah.. Good night
What if he turns back to me, finds me seemingly fondling my breasts, and thinks I'm turned on by eagles?
Now that it's fall I have to prepare for the imminent arrival of ripped up sweatpants shoved into folded over sequined uggs
Remember when I convinced you to watch me eat my sandwich just so you could reuse my plate and save us money on our water bill? I'm so ecofriendly when I'm high
I was doing good, then they gave me free shots
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
True life: I got so drunk that i took a shower with my clothes on at 4 am...
Obviously you're feeling a little sexually frustrated.
I consider humping a stranger every ten minutes when I walk in the street.
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
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