I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
He said I was the smartest girl he had ever dated, that should have been a sign from the beginning
wtf are you talking about? You vomit-splattered the cop from the balcony. The cop YOU called because you drunk-dialed 911 because a 5 year old ate the last donut.
it was a krispy kreme
You asked me if you could throw up in my shoe.
Oh god. I finally realized why the coked out Stevie wonder was explaining the concept of movember to the McDonalds clerk. Drunk me didn't process that another month comes after Halloween... It's apparently November.
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
I woke up in my tom cruise outfit with my house key tied to my thong....
And in that, my finest lazy stoner moment, I used my cleavage to hold my bowl steady while I packed it laying down in bed.
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
i chased my gummy vitamins with cold bacon, never say I don't take care of myself
She's the queen of dating. She managed to get a date with a guy who saw her puke five times in two hours.
You are attracted to power and since you can't date the married old guy you have to go for the next best thing - his gay son
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Magyver!
Randomize
