Only a mothe r could love this liver
Silently passing ghastly beer farts as I move around the bridal department at Tiffany's. Call it my contribution to the holiday spirit.
She tried to cook Velveeta IN the oven on clean mode.
i pretended i was deaf and got a girl to come home with me
I made a Russian puke. I outdrank a Russian. I am unstoppable.
Dude that soap I drank last night is fucking killing me.
I asked if he wanted to sext and he just started sending me pictures of his beard.
HOW DO I ALWAS FIND THEM?! THERE WAS BE A SOCIETY OF SMALL PENISED MEN AND I MUST BELONG TO IT!
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
I just slept for fifteen hours straight. It's like my body knows i'm drinking with you and is preparing..
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
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