I want to take you away to a place of dolphin rides and hot stone massages.
Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
Sex should be hot, sweaty, messy, and a little painful. At no point should it involve tiny rocks
Whenever I said your name you screamed polo and did another shot.
she tried to douche with champagne. in front of all of us. unabashedly.
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
You talked about giving to sperm banks on a first date. What did you expect?
Discovered a freckle on my clitoris. What have you done today?
I think the saddest part about my sex life is that most of it is pity sex.
Just followed a blind kid around for 20 minutes to see how awesome his guide dog was. And he was pretty fucking awesome
I tried to light my cup as a bong. I'm done drinking
Facebook is for cat videos and having better lives than people from high school, period.
He wore a t-shirt that had an arrow pointing to his crotch and "DO IT FOR THE VINE" on it.
At least he's honest about how long he'll last.
Let's ride this possibly pregnant train together
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
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