Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
You need to tell your booty call to take some sudafed or something. I swear I thought you were humping Kermit the frog last night
I found the perfect eye liner, it passed the blow job test, no smudging!!
I dont know how to say this. But the hottest girl where im at has one arm.
I just remembered that I did shots out of a gay mans crotch. And there's someone saved in my phone as "Miranda knows where my car is"
I'm in charge of his party but you're a paramedic, we're both needed.
Eating nacho cheese off the carpet. How is your morning?
I also just told a guy I was available for counseling in case he needed to 'bang' things out. I've become a monster.
I'm petty sure you said "hold on let me make my nipples hard, they look better"
Well, most of my extended family doesnt know about my love for the penis, so they dont have a reason to disown me
I'm texting an actual stripper. A male stripper. I dont wanna talk about it yet
How do I convince my friend not to get tattoo tributes to her cats?
WHO DOES THAT
I told her it'd send up tons of red flags and she responded by telling me they're her babies. And she's sober.
I don't know why, but whenever I shave my balls I feel more aerodynamic.
I was in line at Panera when I got the pic you sent to your coworker. I just showed your vag to a soccer mom. The vibrator was a nice touch.
Randomize
