You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
i pretended i was deaf and got a girl to come home with me
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
Apparently I walked up to him, mumbled something incoherently, then started to make out with him. Why does this always happen.
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
i accidentally sent all my draft messages..how do i do damage control for the multiple "fuck me now" type msgs sent at ten am?
Rick two cubicles down puked and that triggered three others puking into their trash cans as well. The janitorial staff hates it when we go drinking on a work night.
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
Life isn't about who you kiss, drunk, at midnight. It's who you text nonsense to, sober, from the toilet.
I think I might get 604 tattooed on my ass tonight...
I drank a girls breast milk at this wedding. Shit was next level
But like now I know, men who are vegetarians are significantly worse in bed.
Randomize
