Just tried to tap morse code on the wall seperating our beds to tell you I was awake and ready to smoke
In debating whether or not it's worth getting out of bed and walking 5 feet down the hallway to go to the bathroom before I puke
in case you havent found it already in honor of Toy story 3 we wrote ANDY on the bottom of your foot while you were passed out on the couch.
drinking out of a sandbucket again
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
So howd u manage to get high at a one year olds birthday anyway?
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
Shitty. Well if it makes you feel any better I just had a toothless wasted crackhead in my bar who was mad because there are TOO MANY FUCKIN TREES in Nantucket.
lesbians are really intense tho, she made me take her eye makeup off and told me she was going to eat me for breakfast
Is there a hallmark card for "could you please slide the FUCK out of my DMs"....?
Emily saved me from being trapped on my roof and then I beat her in a race at 5am it was a low key night
if you're wondering why I texted you some girl's name at 4 am it's because you wanted to Facebook stalk the girl who gave that Irish guy we met at the Chinese food place her license and said 'call me'
Just reached for my phone in my non existant pocket while it was in my hand.
there's still a lot i don't remember, like why my iphone's nailed to your wall
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
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