OMG Im so trashed fishy! im sitting hereon my bed wif mcdonalds n i look like david hasselhoff!!!!!! kill me now
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
Holy mother of cocks. I was grind-with-my-boss drunk last night.
I know this request is pointless but you two please try to keep the drinking and drug use to a minimal, I have bail money so write my number on your arm and a "if found call", wear a life jacket and act like a responsible 28 year old please.
i'm taking a spore imprint of the mushroom we found growing in our bathroom and sending a picture to ryan. he will then be able to tell if it's trip-worthy
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
I swear 95% of pictures on my phone are from drunken nights I don't remember with me doing a peace sign alone in somebody's bedroom.
The last thing I remember was paying off her younger brother not to judge me, then puking on his shoes.
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
stef broke her leg trying to vault over the coffee table. these olympics drinking games are going to fucking kill us
No, it's cool, I just bounced from the hospital. I was...talking to a security guard, maybe?
It's Saturday night and I'm getting shitfaced alone while reading Dino porn. Wassssuuuupppp
Just in case you blacked out, we had sex, you came in me, we need plan B, we fell off your top bunk, broke your roommates chair, i still like you, but i'm in pain and am going to bed
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
I want you to worship my cock.
That's not how you start a conversation.
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