was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
I just found out you can file for divorce online. I love America.
I seriously think I have a tan line on my stomach from getting a boner while in the taning bed.
One of my preschool students told me today that it's not pollution that makes the water in lakes unclean. It's the hobos. I was absolutely speechless. And just so proud.
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
Is it sad that I just used my electrical knowledge to not only fix but improve my vibrator?
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
I'm going to join a nudist colony to win $1000. There are no down-sides to this.
We don't know where he is but he left his pants and what appears to be a tooth here so he's gotta come back sometime
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
Wtf can everyone stop fucking in my grandma's bed? This is like the third time
I just realized this morning that my fridge is stocked with coronas, hot dogs, and cheese dip. And I just got waxed. High-five, your best friend is on track to be all kinds of slutty fun this wkd.
You were up on table in a neon bra chanting "YOUR MOM" while drizzling vodka on your chest...
no wonder i woke up with my boobs stuck to my bra
Randomize
