Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
do you know why "how to shave your balls" is bookmarked on my computer?
i just cleaned out my toilet because i knew that my head would be in it later
she asked if i had a condom...i said yes...when we finished it wasnt on...told her it was at home on my dresser.
This gyro tastes like lonliness
Trying to convince my mother to let me take some of my sisters Lortab to sell is not going well
i was able to set 4 alarms to make sure i woke up in time for class but i couldnt take the open beer out of my pocket before i did cartwheels down the hall...
I feel like our low point of the night was when we had to start chasing with ice cubes and wheat thins.
Definitely just found that pen in the microwave. What the fuck.
He paid the bartender with money from the tip jar then proceeded to hit on me in front of my date. I love frat dances
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
I woke up this morning with my hand on his dick. That sneaky bastard.
I thought he was foreign, but it turns out when you're that drunk, an Ohio accent just sounds Russian.
The air taste purple.
Randomize
