I wish I loved anything like you love Tequila.
May God have mercy on my new vibrator.
Thru out the entire phone conversation I went from thinking: he's making a gay come-on, to he's trying to sell me drugs, before realizing he was offering me a job with an internet company. Things are gonna be awkward in class this week.
Also, we just got yelled at by a cop for being awesome...or making out in a fountain. Whatever.
As i was blowing him Silent Night came on his iTunes. I said "it isn't christmas" and he moans "yeah it is."
Can we play rock paper scissor shot again? I want to black out in 15 minutes or less...
He wouldn't give me a cup of water for my bong so i sat in the drive thru to run up the timer until he gave it to me.
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
He sent me a vid of himself jerking off. I hope his hands are the size of tennis rackets or it will be a very short date.
Beer and xanax may be a bad combo, but I don't really care due to the beer and the xanax.
Now all I want to do is stay up, drink wine, and look at dragons.
His dick isn't even good enough to be this much of an asshole
Um, when I went down on you it got stuck there. Still had gum in my mouth. Didn't exactly have use of my hands to assist
I danced shirtless on a platform with a fucking stripper who went to MIT
Dude, someone puked in my washing machine last night, I tried turning it on to clean it...not a good idea
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