i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
just stared at ed norton's ass for 26 miles. if there was ever an incentive to run a marathon, that was it. my life is perfect.
I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
You have all of her herpes and none of my sympathy
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
The only way I can describe this shit is male aloe vera plant in both looks and feel its standing in the toilet
Thanks for that....my girlfriend picked up my phone and saw that
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
We need to get stoned and watch Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2. This has become a priority. Schedule accordingly.
Just saw a rice crispy commercial and got emotional. I need to go home.
We need to get Harry and Lloyd's tuxedos from Dumb and Dumber. I feel like this is a vital thing that is missing from our lives.
She sent me a thank you card for not fucking her boyfriend...
I told him. He hasn't said anything. Crying and holding cats is probably what is happening.
Why is there a pair of panties on my front lawn?
He gave me an ambien and I woke up with a raw chicken bone in my purse. I have no idea why but I hope I put it in his butt
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