I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
I woke up naked on the bathroom floor. the tile grout marks on my boobs hurt, i mananged to use a roll toilet paper as a pillow. never again. did we eat salad?
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
I don't know what I should tell you tell you. I don't want to encourage you to dye my dog.
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when i get back.
She just tried to talk over a fart. The fart was way longer than the sentence she originally wanted to say so she just added gibberish to the end. Gross
I am going to ride along with a cop tonight so please don't get arrested because that would be super awkward for me.
I'm out of town so we should be golden.
A "Tom-vomit" is when you puke but cough as it comes up, so you close you mouth as a natural reaction and the vomit is jet-propelled out your noise.
Well I woke up and my arm was bleeding. And my blood is on the wall in the hallway.
Umm
No idea. I blame fireball.
Valid.
His brother just asked him in all seriousness if it would be cool if they became eskimo brother brothers.
Please don't finger me like a jackhammer. I'm a woman not a construction site.
I woke up at 3am, top off, with campus security telling me to get dressed. Tonight was a GOOD NIGHT
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
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