So explain to me again how you wake up next to a Brazilian model and I wake up next to a turkey sub? And a jar of grey poupon.
Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
She made fun of how I walked so I announced to her boyfriend that I have cum on her face before.
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
Walk of Shame today included voting.
Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
There's jello in my purse I have a mysterious glow stick and didn't sleep with anyone my god I'm 3 for 3 tonight
Its like a match made in avoid-eachother-because-we're-antisocial-and-awkward heaven
He actually just looked up and said I'm gonna cum in my pants. and he did. no shame.
You didn't say, "No." And you stole more than half of my Snickers. You owed me that dick.
She looks like a Midwestern news anchor that got fired so she has done nothing but eat for the past 6 months.
Literally too hungover to pull out of the driveway. Tried 3 times and failed. I'm going back to bed.
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
well we woke up in different beds than the ones we originally fell asleep in, you were butt naked, and your boyfriend was sleeping on a cot in the middle of the kitchen. that might be why he's mad.
Man, I'm never going tanning again he noticed the burns on my ass
Randomize
