so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
I hate cats. They're so curious, it's not their damn business.
Oh and then this old man who saw it happen goes "don't do that"
Hahaha what a helpful old man. Like you thought it was normal to be spilling gas everywhere.
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
I love you and want you to know that you're the best friend ever and me lassoing you with a seatbelt was out of sheer affection.
Maybe if i steal enough bar glasses i can justify all the money spent i've spent there
this morning your mother said to me "sorry to have to meet you like this, in my sons bed" later she said "you never know whos gonna be in there. its scary sometimes"
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
I'm sorry. I know you didn't expect me to be arm deep in vagina when you walked through the door.
And he was super vague about his life, it was frustrating. I totally boned a homeless guy, didn't I?
I was just at home taking Vicodin for a week straight. Talk about a vacation.
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
I need to find a more reliable booty-call so I can start dating people and take it slow.
You tried to chase every shot with a blueberry.
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