it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
I don't know how I'm boarding the plane tomorrow. I have my car registration.
The fact that its 530pm and I'm saying to myself I should sober up since I'm at a family establishment should say enough
You'd be proud of me. They tried to give me bread to sober up, but I told them no, im on a diet.
usual friday morning routine. the pants i wore last night are in my passenger seat and im rooting through the pockets trying to make exact change at the dunkin donuts drive thru
Got laid last night using the intro line of "rate your hurricane evacuation plan on a scale of 1-10"
I mean like if I stood up my head might pull me down like an anchor
I just ordered 30 klonopins from India that could probably be anything from Viagra to Midol. You need to find another friend to get advice from right now
You aren't truly friends with someone until you play drinking games via text at 8:30 in the morning.
I've only hooked up with engineers this year and it may be the best future financial decision I've ever made
I should be in a better mood, I just went home and had a quickie on my lunch break.
I had a sandwich.
Leave it to my mom and I to turn the hearing into a drinking game.
i have to pee so bad and he is sleeping and idk where the bathroom or my clothes are!!!
The ass gains better be worth it
Randomize
