That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
My aunt just said- "pizza is like sex. Even if it ain't good it ain't bad." Obviously she doesn't know us too well.
I want to fuck you on the side of the bed tonight.
babe, don't say it like that!
I'm sorry, I want to penetrate you on the edge of our sleeping quarters this evening.
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
I no longer question where these bruises come from... between the strip pole in the living room, the slipnslide in the hallway and our constant level of intoxication I will always be bruised...
She keeps stunt undies in her bag, 2 sizes too small. She leaves them behind so the guy thinks he was luckier than he was...
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
it's not like i was drunk to the point of NEEDING help...i just wanted someone to offer to hold my hair or something.
This makes me miss penis. Not in a horny way... but in a sad, sentimental way.
i got a standing ovation for bringing skittles to the party
time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
So what are you going to be for halloween?
A woman sitting on her couch watching Hocus Pocus.
For the first time in my life, I still have money by the next payday. Who is this responsible person and what have they done with the real me?
Randomize
