maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
There is a mermaid on oprah and she looks nothin like ariel
I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
Only your wife would write 'for deposit only' on the back of that $1500 check knowing full and well our capabilities of spending it on strippers and booze
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
She's riding a bike down the street and drinking brown liquor. A pt cruiser is honking at her and she's like I HEAR YOU!!
pretty sure I just got a "sorry I have a new boyfriend" blow job. Confused, but totally ok with it.
I keeping finding meatballs in random places
I was chasing moonshine with vodka last night. I'm still not sure how I'm sober right now.
I finished masturbating now I'm eating french toast crunch. What is life, and what are friends.
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
THERE IS A MOTHERFUCKING HUMMINGBIRD FLYING AROUND IN OUR HOUSE RIGHT NOW HOW DO I GET IT OUT????
Randomize
