Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
I really thought you were going to tell me you were pregnant on facebook chat. FACEBOOK CHAT. I almost cried.
you pulled down your pants to convince a girl you were god
It's like a bag of dicks covered in taint sweat pounding a pregnant baby walrus.
Ughhhh. Finnnneeeeee. I'll have sex with your brother. Sheesh. The things I do for you woman.
Starting St Patrick's Weekend, non stop flights on Pacific Whorelines to the scenic HotMessXpress. Get the cougars ready, it's gonna get weird.
Pretty sure I just became my mom's wingman
I fell asleep in the tanning bed, naked, for an hour and a half and I guess they couldn't wake me up so they called the fire department...and they came in while I was passed out naked...
Sitting in my car feasting on the spoils of Taco Bell as Donna Lewis croons "I love you, always forever." A more perfect moment will never exist.
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
Fuck you. Fuck this party. I just wanted to be pretty with a cute little tiara and boys sucking my tits, now i have a hangman game drawn on my face and jello shots in my hair.
I wanted to give you a great birthday party. You know I did.
To be honest, I'm more surprised when you're not high at this point
That bitch claimed that you said it was ok if she drank your vodka. Obviously she has never met you
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