I changed my tire completely alone.. I could totally win survivor
Its my greatest physical accomplishment
I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
I asked him where the store BJ's was and he unzipped his pants.
your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away
I went to check the drunk texts i sent last night but my phone deleted them already. Even my phone is ashamed.
Found her laying down in a booth in iHop. She's a keeper.
She's like my safety school. At the end of the night, if I haven't found anyone better to hook up with, I can always call her if I need a place to drop a load and don't want to rub one out myself. Perfect next door neighbor.
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
So what exactly does one do when my driver gets a DUI and is now arrested and I'm still hiding in the trunk?
I flashed my cleaning lady and don't remember who I went on a date with. I know who I woke up with though, that counts right?
PICK ME UP NOW I THINK THIS MOTEL IS A CRIME SCENE. also congrats on your engagement i saw the post on my phone while i was climbing out the window
WAIT this kid is eating yogurt with a fucking ladle. what is happening?
Hey Girl, we got home safe!
I know, I drove you
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