I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
The verizon commercial has a magical pinata. Candy just keeps coming out. It must be a portal to a candy universe.
Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
The highlight of my Saturday night was singing along to the sound of music alone in my room.
The woman in front of me has a completely clear purse. I can see everything. It's ballsy because her vagisil is on display.
closing bar tabs have helped me with simple math in college.
Thanks for getting me home last night.
No worries. I'll always be there for you, just like Mufasa.
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
I figured, if I'm going to wear a gold cape its pretty safe to assume I'll be blacking out as well.
And then I told him since the day he walked away to get over what I went through he lost the boyfriend right to ask why my bed is broken.
I take full pride in being the one that broke ur bed. Want to go for the sofa?
In other news I may have fractured my masturbating arm
At least it wasn't your drinking arm
We had to go. She called the bartender a thundercunt.
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
She wants to have a threesome with Taylor Swift. I think this is the kind of love my grandparents spoke of.
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
Randomize