It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
i've never been more proud of someone than i was when he told me he got his first blowjob at age 13...from two chicks
the boobs are fake... i feel like i just found out santa isn't real.
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
Breakfast=the leftover margarita in my car. Have a great day.
this may be my drink champagne alone in a bbaby pool in the dark night
I'm silent, like a masturbating ninja.
he fucked me so hard i could feel my pelvis shifting. like i legit feel more prepared for childirth now
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
I told the guy that if he didn't put enough pepperoni to earn the name " pepperoni feast", that I was gonna sue him for all he had. Believe it or not, that's all I remember.
He lit a candle for the mood and ended up lighting my hair on fire while we were hooking up...moodkiller
apparently I got pissed off that no one would let me spray them with a bottle of champagne at midnight of the new year. so I sprayed myself with one shirtless in the near freezing cold outside
I have so many feelings about this burrito
You said you made a new recipe, but it turned out you just cooked ramen with vodka instead of water.
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